Depression

by Atomic Perception

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about

While reviewing my mix archive for another album project I came across a series of songs, mostly recorded before the turn of the millennium. My first thought was, "wow these are really depressing." But overall, they contain candid expressions of my life at that time. I present them here as a way to release them to the world and hopefully release them from myself.

credits

released November 13, 2018

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Atomic Perception Columbus, Ohio

Singer Song Writer, Recording Artist.

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Track Name: Liquium
The world it seems
Is too much for me
I can't escape anxiety
It permeates my daily life
and now I've got to try it

Illegal drugs are not for me
I'm a pillar of society
Now I have all this stress and anxiety
From years of denial
I'm so lonely in this life of dreaming distress

But I know that I'm OK
Cause there's Liquium to help me through the day
When I really start feeling the doubt
There's Liquium to help me out

There is a way and it's Liquium today
It's all I need, this Liquium is for me

I'm not a drug addict
That 's plain to see
I only take whats prescribed for me
I can't escape this ringing now
Leaves me feeling like a grazing cow

I know I'm healthy and I'm legal as all the rest
They hit me up because there's Liquium on my desk

I'm on my way to work again
It's all I've got, there not even friends
Now I understand what it's like to be a broken man
And it's hard to accept this fate
But Liquium helps me through the day

All you'll know is all that you'll ever be
Track Name: Tabouli
If you only knew
What to do
You've got to move on now
You've got to move your soul
Soundless unwind me
Lead me down the (w)hole - day through
If I had a life and lied in my dreams
Where would it lead me now?
If I had some time and I cried in my sleep
Where would it lead me now?

You've got the crowd
You just don't know how
You've got to move on and on
If I had a life and I lied in my dreams
Where would it lead me now?
If I had to cry and I lied where I weeped
Where would it lead me now?
If I had to try and every time I lied
Where would it lead me now?
Track Name: Light Makes Up Time
Some times I drift forever
Some times I think I see
Some times red rivers
Come and carry me out to sea
Some times I'm weary
And some times I'm weak

You've got to lose you mind - And put a tear in it
Light make up time - Which is precarious
You've got to free your mind - Instead of wearing it
Life takes up time - You've got to carry it
You think your doing fine - But beware of it
You life is on the line - You've got to care for it
Before you lose your mind - And put a tear in it
We might just all get by - Why don't you share a bit

Some times I've got all the answers
And some times I'm way off track
Some times I feel like I've lived forever
Maybe that's why I've got a sore back
Some times and never
Compromise facts

You've got to lose you mind - And put a tear in it
Light make up time - Which is precarious
You've got to free your mind - Instead of wearing it
Life takes up time - You've got to carry it
You think your doing fine - But beware of it
You life is on the line - You've got to care for it
Before you lose your mind - And put a tear in it
We might just all get by - Why don't you share a bit
Track Name: Waitin' Here
I spend a lot of time waitin' here
Here inside my head
I'd be tellin' you a lie
If I said I like it here instead
I wish that I was high
And far away, far outside my head
I waste a lot of time
Waitin' here, wait until I'm dead

Life's a hope that lies
Under there, underneath the bed
Takin' up my my time
When I know I'd be better off when dead
I'd write you a few lines
If I thought that they ever would be read
I wish that I could fly
Out of here, out inside my head
Track Name: Dirty Old Garbage Man
Always felt sorry for the garbage man
Workin' so hard doin' what he can
Pickin' up trash all day long
Got nothin' else goin' on
That dirty old garbage man
Workin' so hard for the rest of the clan
At the front line, at the front can
Seein' all the trash that the others throw away
Lookin' at it all day
Never want to be a garbage man
Here it pays good, well they got the plan
That dirty old garbageman
Track Name: So Love Me
If I could hide away my dear I guess that you'd be free
Free to live your life alone, underneath the sea
I confess that I am high but why do you write me?
All those things your dreaming of, so love me

Write me soon and sing a song, my god I've got to read
About those tales from far away and underneath the sea
Houses come and houses go but you and I perceive

All you have to go and linger on and measure nothing
Linger on, linger on and measure nothing, linger on and measure nothing...linger

If I were free and you conceived a thought beneath the trees
A simple wife a fallen life between the two or three
Find my way along the pass among the fallen leaves

"Where you goin' now?" you say that "I have lost my way"
"Where you goin'?"
I have got to put it on today
Track Name: I Like It
I like it
Track Name: This Broken Wheel
Sign of an empty nest
Bare branches a cotton vest
I wander upon this broken wheel
The sight of an empty glance
I wander the streets of chance
The summer is gone
The bugs all die

Evening growing string
The night time is getting long
A refuge of warmth to hide your fears
It happened this time last year
A falcon, rest now my dear
The desert of hope claims many

Sign of an empty nest
Bare branches a cotton vest
The summer is gone
The bugs all die
The sight of an empty glance
I wander the streets of chance
I wander upon this broken wheel
Track Name: Over The Peaks
Light shines on
Fables of peace
Fables so wrong now

Night rolls on
Under the neath
Under so long
I'm still strong
Strong as the sheep
Weak as the song

Wait so long
Always so right
Always so wrong, lord

My mind's gone
Under the neath
Over the song so
Labor on
Over the peaks
Under the clouds
Track Name: Foreign Minds
Door is open, door is closed
Windows open don't you pose
Don't you do what you are told
Foreign minds are open/close

Hope with fishing, don't despair
You listen now you are not fair
We haven't got the simple time
To mingle and to linger on

Doing what the simple told
The children play they do what they're told
They do what they are mimicking the media

Children play the children told
Children have not problems
They are told what the problems are
Children don't like to be there

Don't you care now don't you listen
Fill their minds with simple bliss
And give them all the hero worship
Idol worship is a disease

Door is closed
The windows open do what you're told
Don't you pose you simple minded empty fool

Starlight shines in the sky
Starlight shine down on man kind
Starlight is a thousand point of specks
Stars are dust

Don't you listen don't you care
I have seen the simple way
Door is open door is closed
The windows there now don't you pose

Mind is empty mind is closed
Foreign minds are simple told
In the streams a bucket
Carry on my dream
Track Name: Secret Thrills
Secretly and silently
Crossing over hills
Down creeps from yonder mountain
The Sun gives us thrills
Divide mighty rivers

Secret thrills
Canopies unwaver
In their not mighty hills
Answering all your secret thrills

Yonder hills
Bring sunshine to the life
Bring earth another thrill
Special like the star of crossing
Makes me ill

You cross the sky of night
Track Name: They Landed
Finally a few thousand years ago
Lost in broken scout ship
They landed, crash landed
On a great green ball
It was covered with clouds and waterfalls
They had to get back
But the ship was broken, that's a matter of fact

When suddenly they stumbled upon some things
Hangin' out in the trees
You know they planned it
To make a slave culture
Using their own DNA as a source
Mixing with the things
We are what they needed to raise up the technology level

You know that they thought that they could make it back
They saw that it was a matter of fact
They landed, crash landed
On a great green ball
It was covered with clouds and waterfalls
They had to get back
But the ship was broken

They were all alone, they had no home
Their planet was three thousand light years gone
And the turbo warp lift drive was broken
When suddenly they saw that they had a need
Of slave labor camps
They were not real
They were SPACEMEN from another place
They had to modify a lower species to make it work
Then they made a slave culture
And suddenly they liked it, it was better than home

Now we imitate them to this vary day
Destroying the Earth in every way
This planet was abandoned
By the spacemen
We were left to fend all on our own
We inherited language
And our own faulty thinking is a side effect
Track Name: I Will Find My Grave
In the light on the water below
I will find my grave
From the light of the silvery moon
I will find my way

By the water that floats beside me
I will have my day
All alone in this night, strolling
I will find my way
By the light of the silvery moon
On the watery shade
In the light on the water below me
I will find my grave

Wander, slowly
Ponder late
Lifeless, all around me
Maybe, some day
On my, all around me
On the shore, beside me
I can see

From the light
By the water
I will find my way
By the light of the silvery moonlight
I will find my grave
Track Name: You Stole My Horn Line
All my life I had a dream
That we could play and write some songs
Have some fun and make some music
Eat some food and get along
But you stole my horn line
Ripped me off blind
Play it out and call it yours

Cause of that you're on the path
Of self-destruction.
Warned you now!
Whats a friend worth?
You're so unsure
Your band's a bunch of total strangers
You stole my horn line
Ripped me off blind
Play it out and call it yours
Track Name: On Our Way To Mars
So you think you're a star - like the one in the sky
Won't get you too far - not too far not too high
Maybe the Moon or Mars - maybe, maybe
But Mars ain't that far - not when you consider everything else
Growing thoughts in your skin - growing thoughts in your skin
Growing thoughts let them in, let them in, let them

Here we are - on our way to Mars
On our way to Mars
In a silvery craft - shaped like a missile
Paid for by tax - me, myself and I
Six month delay - what the hell they waitin' for
On the live telecast make me ask, make me ask - should we ask?

Why does it take so long?
I mean when we had the Apollo Moon missions we saw live footage of the astronauts as they stood there. Everyone on earth saw that. but on the Mars mission everything is hidden because of the things they have seen on the surface of Mars. Why does this all have to be so top secret do they think we are ignoramus brains?

Why does the secret cult - well you know their names
Handle the business - they've got all the money
Who checks on them - who checks their checks?
I think it should be the people - me, myself and I
Throwing rocks in the rain
Hurting rocks fear the pain, fear the pain, fear the pain

Fear the pain
Track Name: Pleasure Passover
Evening there beside the sea
Lingering there a friend in need
By the rocks where the sea meets the scene

Sea meets the scene
There you see
Lingering by the rocks and trees
Hoping for your fair share you see

You see by the rocks and trees
Rocking the rocks
The sea

By the sea lingering on the rocks you see
E
E
E
Track Name: To All Policemen
Policemen have never been my heros
Policemen just want to cage you in
Policemen have never been my idol
Look at that stupid car their in

Fat donut eatin' coffee drinkin' hero
Driving around my menacing neighborhood
You must have some kind of problem
To carry a gun and go lookin' for trouble yeah

Policemen never been my hero
Drivin' in that stupid car
Blastin' sirens past midnight
And runnin' red lights for free, yippee (turn on the lights Fred)
Cause Policemen just aren't friends (friendly)
Track Name: Drugs Kill
Drugs kill, sixty nine cents, pay your bill, park bench
New merchandise arriving daily
My favorite muffin
Give me some coffee, whiskey and Baileys
My favorite muffin

Drugs kill, pay your bill
Sixty nine cents, park bench
New merchandise arriving daily
Give me some coffee, whiskey and Baileys
My favorite muffin
Track Name: By A Crystal Pool
I see eyes watching over me and you
Now is the time when we will come to MU
Like a comet flying in the night
Now is the time to spread the white light
Come with me now on a golden path
Here in the jungle by a crystal pool
Here on an island in a land called MU
Here on an island in a land called MU

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